Runs: Nah

Runs: Nah Sporty Value: Dregs

2009 Pontiac G5 – $3,750

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Pre-Gutted for Your 24 Hours of Lemons DNF

This Pontiac G5 has been thoroughly violated in the name of budget racing, and now the seller wants you to pay nearly four grand for the privilege of inheriting their unfinished disaster. With “four nights on the whole car,” it’s already seen more walls than a Roomba, and it “needs a transmission but will come with one,” meaning you’re not just buying a car—you’re buying a weekend of swearing and busted knuckles just to get this thing moving again.

The racing harness is expired, which is perfect, because that matches the rest of the car’s usefulness. The hood-mounted spare tire is a nice touch, adding both aerodynamic instability and the unmistakable scent of desperation. This is the kind of car that gets black-flagged at 24 Hours of Lemons before it even finishes tech inspection, assuming it even makes it there without falling off the trailer.

Buy Rating: Absolutely not. For $3,750, you could buy a running beater, gut it yourself, and still have enough left over for beer and bribes to the Lemons judges. If you pay asking price for this, you deserve to be laughed out of the paddock.

McCook, NE

https://www.facebook.com/share/1XcYZ2tHio/

Project Runs: Nah Value: Creme-o-crap

1970 Honda AN600 – $2,500

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The Adorable Death Trap with a Rod Knock

Ah yes, the Honda AN600—Japan’s answer to “how small can a car be before it’s legally considered footwear?” This pint-sized relic of the early ‘70s is powered by a 600cc twin-cylinder engine, which—when new—offered all the horsepower of a strong leaf blower. But don’t worry, you won’t have to deal with its gutless performance, because this one has a “terrible Rod knock”—which is Craigslist code for “this engine is one cold start away from total annihilation.”

The body is described as “pretty decent”, which is a bold claim for a primered-out shoebox that looks like it was left in a field for a decade. But hey, the manual transmission still exists, and the missing title ensures you get a free scavenger hunt with purchase.

Buy Rating: A charming but overpriced lawn ornament. Honda N600s in running condition have recently sold for prices ranging from $8,800 to $25,000, depending on their condition and originality. Given this one’s severe rod knock and missing title, it’s more of a project than a car.

Lincoln, CA

https://sacramento.craigslist.org/cto/d/lincoln-1970-honda-car-an600/7823706312.html

Project Runs: Nah Value: Dregs

1986 Nissan 300ZX – $1,000

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Nissan 300ZX: Now With Bonus Wildlife Infestation

This 1986 Nissan 300ZX was once a sleek, wedge-shaped missile—now it’s just a glorified mouse hotel. The seller lost the key (sure) but swears it was running at some point, which is Craigslist code for “bring a trailer and a priest.” If the rats chewing through the harness weren’t enough, this one’s cursed with an automatic transmission, ensuring maximum disappointment. It’s a project, alright—one that starts with a fumigation tent and ends in regret.

Buy Rating: Only if you love rebuilding electrical harnesses and dealing with mysterious “it was running once” claims. Comparable dead 300ZXs sell for $500–$800, and this seller wants $1,000 for a rodent-infested paperweight.

 Costa Mesa, CA

https://orangecounty.craigslist.org/cto/d/costa-mesa-1986-nissan-300zx/7825972551.html

Project Runs: Nah Value: Dregs

2010 PT Cruiser – $700

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A PT Cruiser’s Last Cry for Help

This 2010 PT Cruiser comes with a “special edition” label and the kind of luck that would make a black cat cross the street to avoid it. Rear-ended and left to rot, it boasts a brand-new catalytic converter—because nothing says irony like sinking $1,565 into a part before the car decides to give up entirely. Fun fact: PT Cruisers were never meant to be “special,” but this one might be perfect for a DIY mechanic who thrives on suffering.

Buy Rating: Only if you’re desperate for a cheap project or need scrap metal. Comparable PT Cruisers in non-drivable condition sell for $500–$800, and this seller is asking $700.