Value: Creme-o-crap

Runs: Yes Utility Value: Creme-o-crap

GMC Suburban SLE – $2,950

No Comments

The Last of the Real SUVs

Before SUVs became bloated crossovers with CVTs and plastic cladding, there was the GMC Suburban, a body-on-frame behemoth built to haul your family, your trailer, and probably a small country if necessary. This one, somehow, isn’t completely destroyed—a rarity in a world where these things were either run into the ground or converted into off-grid apocalypse rigs.

The seller claims it “drives like brand new”, and while that’s probably a stretch, the interior looks shockingly well-preserved for something that’s lived through multiple recessions and at least one gas crisis. It’s got the 5.7L Vortec 350, an automatic transmission, and new tires, which means it’s ready for another round of family duty or hauling questionable Craigslist purchases.

Buy Rating: Honestly, at $2,950, this isn’t bad. It’s cheap, clean, and still standing, which is more than you can say for most ’90s GM trucks. If you want a real SUV instead of a crossover pretending to be one, this is worth a look.

Fort Collins, CO

https://www.facebook.com/share/16AhGFAxHq/

Pimp'n Runs: Yes Value: Creme-o-crap

1985 Buick LeSabre – $3,500

2 Comments

Boxy Land Yacht with a Paperwork Problem

Some cars just get uglier with time, but this big-bodied, square-jawed LeSabre is proving that the 1980s box-on-wheels aesthetic is actually holding up better than expected. The sharp lines, massive chrome bumpers, and wire wheel covers scream “old money who stopped caring”, but in a way that’s oddly appealing now. It’s the kind of car that looks just as fitting in a retirement home parking lot as it does rolling up to a Cars & Coffee ironically.

The seller calls it “excellent condition” with “a little bit of sun damage,” which is a polite way of saying the paint has been in a losing battle with the Arizona sun for decades. The 305 V8 and automatic transmission mean you’ll float down the road in classic American luxury, provided you don’t mind single-digit fuel economy. The interior is pure vintage sofa-on-wheels, with enough plush seating to make a Cadillac blush.

But then there’s the catch—the bill of sale only situation. No title means no easy registration, so unless you’re well-versed in the dark arts of DMV loopholes, you might as well slap a farm-use plate on it and call it a day.

Buy Rating: Not bad if you can sort out the paperwork. A clean-title LeSabre in similar shape wouldn’t cost much more, but if you’re willing to navigate the bureaucratic maze, this could be a classy bargain.

Wellton, AZ

https://www.facebook.com/share/1XcYZ2tHio/

Project Runs: Nah Value: Creme-o-crap

1970 Honda AN600 – $2,500

1 Comment

The Adorable Death Trap with a Rod Knock

Ah yes, the Honda AN600—Japan’s answer to “how small can a car be before it’s legally considered footwear?” This pint-sized relic of the early ‘70s is powered by a 600cc twin-cylinder engine, which—when new—offered all the horsepower of a strong leaf blower. But don’t worry, you won’t have to deal with its gutless performance, because this one has a “terrible Rod knock”—which is Craigslist code for “this engine is one cold start away from total annihilation.”

The body is described as “pretty decent”, which is a bold claim for a primered-out shoebox that looks like it was left in a field for a decade. But hey, the manual transmission still exists, and the missing title ensures you get a free scavenger hunt with purchase.

Buy Rating: A charming but overpriced lawn ornament. Honda N600s in running condition have recently sold for prices ranging from $8,800 to $25,000, depending on their condition and originality. Given this one’s severe rod knock and missing title, it’s more of a project than a car.

Lincoln, CA

https://sacramento.craigslist.org/cto/d/lincoln-1970-honda-car-an600/7823706312.html

Runs: Yes Utility Value: Creme-o-crap

1985 Toyota Pickup – $3,500

No Comments

Toyota Pickup: The Undying Workhorse

Here’s a 1985 Toyota Pickup with 315,000 miles—which means it’s just about broken in. The legendary 22R engine under the hood refuses to die, and the seller claims it “runs well,” which is Toyota-speak for “will still start after the sun explodes.” Body-wise, it’s surprisingly intact for a truck this old, aside from a bit of rust at the bed seam and tailgate. But let’s be honest, if you’re looking at this thing, you’re not here for aesthetics—you want something that will outlive your grandkids.

Buy Rating: A fair price if you’re after an indestructible work truck. Comparable 1985 Toyota Pickups in similar condition sell for $2,500–$4,000, while pristine ones go for over $10K. This one is listed at $3,500, sitting right in the middle of Toyota Tax territory.

 Flagstaff, AZ

https://flagstaff.craigslist.org/cto/d/flagstaff-1985-toyota-pickup/7819418104.html

Commuter Runs: Yes Value: Creme-o-crap

1990 Honda Civic “VX” – $3,900

1 Comment

JDM Bro Special: The Spreadsheet Warrior’s Dream

Ah yes, another Civic built with the precision of a Craigslist tutorial and the confidence of a Honda forum mod. This 1990 Civic started life as a 70-hp wheeze-box but has since been Frankensteined with a JDM D15Z VTEC-E from a ‘92 Civic VX, a 5-speed from an ‘88 CRX HF, and enough “upgraded electronics” to make your local Honda fanboy cry. The seller even has a spreadsheet to prove it gets 43+ MPG—because nothing screams performance like fuel economy bragging. The body’s got 220K miles of door dings and questionable decisions, and the instrument cluster swap means you’ll never actually know how far this thing has traveled through hell.

Buy Rating: If your dream is hyper-miling your way into irrelevance, this is your car. Comparable Frankensteined Civics list for $3,000–$3,500, and this seller wants $3,900 for a rolling JDM fanfiction.

Littleton, CO

https://denver.craigslist.org/cto/d/littleton-1990-honda-civic-vx/7825063781.html

Commuter Runs: Yes Value: Creme-o-crap

1985 Mercedes 300D Turbodiesel – $3,450

4 Comments

The German Tank That Won’t Quit

This 1985 Mercedes 300D Turbodiesel is a rolling testament to overengineering and stubborn longevity. With 256,554 miles under its belt, “Goldie” isn’t a garage queen, but it still delivers that classic diesel charm, straight-piped into your soul. Fun fact: W123 Mercs are known for being indestructible—this one’s halfway to qualifying for immortal status.

Buy Rating: Solid buy for diesel lovers or anyone who appreciates a tank on wheels. Comparable models go for $3,000–$3,600, and this seller is asking $3,450.