Value: Mid

Runs: Yes Sporty Value: Mid

2006 Chrysler Crossfire – $2,850

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The Luxury Sports Car for People Who Hate Themselves

The Chrysler Crossfire is what happens when a Mercedes SLK and a PT Cruiser have an unholy love child—except instead of inheriting the Mercedes’ refinement or the PT Cruiser’s… well, anything of value, it just got weird proportions, Chrysler-grade interior plastics, and a back end that looks like it was inflated with a bicycle pump.

This particular example has been slow-roasting in a forest of pine needles, because nothing says “well cared for” like parking your car where squirrels can claim squatter’s rights. The seller claims it “just needs a wax and wash”, which is an interesting way to describe a car that looks like it’s one strong gust of wind away from the bumper detaching itself. The headlights have entered the frosted privacy glass stage of neglect, and that suspension? Either it’s got an aggressive stance, or it’s been compressing under its own disappointment.

Buy Rating: Only if you want to experience the thrill of Mercedes engineering with all the charm of Chrysler’s bankruptcy era. At $2,850, it’s not a great deal, but at least it’s not a Sebring.

Monument, CA

https://www.facebook.com/share/16AhGFAxHq/

Runs: Yes Value: Mid WTF

1967 Dodge…thing – $3,000

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A DIY Disaster with Four Wheels

What happens when someone with too much time, too few skills, and a pile of mismatched parts decides to “build a car?” This. The seller says “the original owner built it and put a Dodge motor in it,” which is the automotive equivalent of saying, “I microwaved a steak and called it gourmet.” Whatever this started as, it’s now a horrifying mashup of questionable engineering and garage-sale aerodynamics.

The bodywork looks like it was assembled with a hammer and a grudge, the windshield is apparently structural, and the interior is some unholy fusion of race car and rejected Vegas casino furniture. It “runs and drives,” which is an impressive claim for something that looks like it was cobbled together using Mad Max as a reference guide. The Arizona plate suggests this has actually been on public roads, meaning there are real human beings out there who have witnessed this thing in motion.

Buy Rating: A guaranteed head-turner, but mostly because people will be staring in disbelief. At $3,000, it’s either a laughably cheap custom car or a rolling liability that will leave you stranded and ashamed.

Hesperia, CA

https://www.facebook.com/marketplace/item/1298202354821391/

Runs: Yes Utility Value: Mid

1990 Chevy S-10 Long Bed – $2,500

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The Little Truck That Could… Use a Miracle

Ah, the 1990 Chevy S-10—a relic from a time when trucks were compact, utilitarian, and about as comfortable as a church pew. This particular specimen boasts an odometer reading of 100,433 miles, which the seller casually mentions has “rolled over.” So, is it 100K? 200K? Your guess is as good as theirs.

The V6 engine and automatic transmission are present, but with the A/C on permanent vacation (thanks to the extinct R12 refrigerant) and a reluctance to engage reverse gear, you’re in for a driving experience that’s equal parts sauna and surprise. On the bright side, it has a “newer battery,” a “clean title,” and “no check engine lights”—a trifecta of mediocrity. The “heat works,” which is fantastic news for those chilly days when you’re pondering why you bought this thing.

Buy Rating: Probably worth it if you need a cheap work truck, but don’t expect much. Similar S-10s in better condition have been listed for $7,500 to $21,315, depending on mileage and upkeep. Given this one’s quirks and potential high mileage, the $2,500 asking price is wishful thinking.

Post Falls, ID

https://spokane.craigslist.org/cto/d/post-falls-1990-chevy-10-2d-6-long-bed/7826029066.html

Runs: Yes Sporty Value: Mid

2004 Mazda Miata – $2,500

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30K Miles of Mystery and Misery

On paper, this looks like a dream find—a low-mileage NB Miata with only 30K miles. In reality? It’s a beaten-up, sun-fried husk of a car that’s been through more hardship than a Craigslist landlord. The seller says it “needs a full overhaul body paint interior,” which is an optimistic way of saying this car looks like it was parked inside a volcano.

The top has holes, the interior is “okay” (which is Craigslist for disgusting), and tags are owed—so be prepared to pay extra just to get this thing legal. Oh, and it has lien sale paperwork, which is the red flag equivalent of a marching band at full volume.

Buy Rating: A tempting deal, but approach with extreme caution. Running NB Miatas with clean titles and decent condition go for $5,000–$8,000, meaning this one is either a steal or a money pit cleverly disguised as a roadster.

Costa Mesa, CA

https://losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/cto/d/costa-mesa-2004-mazda-miata-speed/7825957725.html

Runs: Yes Utility Value: Mid

1991 Ford Explorer – $2,500

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1991 Ford Explorer: The Original SUV Dinosaur

This former government mule started life with the City of San Francisco, where it was probably used for hauling around clueless interns and road cones. Now, it’s up for grabs, rocking an unknown number of miles because the odometer gave up tracking them decades ago.

The interior is shockingly decent, aside from a sagging ceiling and dead window motors that have permanently committed to the up position. Seller says it’s “treated them well”—which, given the track record of Explorers, means it hasn’t exploded in the driveway yet.

Buy Rating: You’re basically buying a government surplus mystery box with four wheels. If you’re feeling lucky, $2,500 isn’t awful—but don’t pretend you’re getting a deal. Comparable 91 Explorers hover around the same price, but at least this one comes with fleet maintenance, which is either reassuring or deeply concerning.

Berkeley, CA

https://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/cto/d/berkeley-91-ford-explorer/7820259512.html

Project Runs: Kind of Value: Mid

1982 Honda Prelude – $3,500

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1982 Honda Prelude: A Prelude to Regret

This 1982 Honda Prelude is a relic from an era when shoulder pads were big, and car performance was… not. With an odometer reading that’s probably rolled over more times than you can count, this “classic” boasts a faded paint job that screams neglect. The interior? Let’s just say it’s seen better days, with upholstery that looks like it’s been through a war zone. The seller claims it “runs and drives,” but that’s about as reassuring as a politician’s promise.

Buy Rating: Only if you’re a masochist with a penchant for early ’80s mediocrity. Comparable 1982 Preludes in pristine condition have been listed for $24,777 to $34,000, but given this one’s likely state, it’s generously priced at $3,500.

Vancouver

https://portland.craigslist.org/clk/cto/d/vancouver-1982-honda-prelude-classic/7825926296.html

Runs: Yes Utility Value: Mid

1997 Ford Ranger XLT – $2,100

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The Cockroach of Trucks: It Just Won’t Die

This 1997 Ford Ranger is the vehicular equivalent of a stray dog—dinged up, rough around the edges, but somehow still kicking. The seller boasts “never run hard,” which is a cute way of saying it’s been babied into mediocrity. With 223,000 miles of abuse, a dented front end, and a power steering system on its last legs, this truck’s biggest flex is that it technically still functions. “Perfect first truck for someone starting out,” meaning perfect for some poor kid who doesn’t know any better.

Buy Rating: If you need a cheap, scrappy hauler and don’t mind a little extra muscle to steer, this might work. Comparable Rangers go for $1,800–$2,300, and this seller is asking $2,100.

Brighton, CO

https://denver.craigslist.org/cto/d/commerce-city-1997-ford-ranger-xlt/7819848292.html

Project Runs: Kind of Value: Mid

1983 Mustang convertible – $1,200

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Fox Body Convertible or Fox in a Trap?

This 1983 Mustang GLX Convertible, a first-year Fox Body, is hanging onto relevance by a frayed convertible top and faded dreams. It “starts…runs…stops,” but with its last journey back in 2020, you’ll be spending more time wrenching than cruising. The interior’s shot, but hey, Fox Bodies have their cult following—just hope your wallet has the same dedication.

Buy Rating: Good for Mustang die-hards or someone who wants to practice restoration on the cheap. Comparable beat-up Mustangs sell for $1,000–$1,300, and this seller is asking $1,200.

Thornton, CO

https://denver.craigslist.org/cto/d/denver-1983-mustang-convertible/7825414625.html

Runs: Kind of Utility Value: Mid

1997 Mercury Villager – $1,500

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The Minivan That Time Forgot

This 1997 Mercury Villager is like that distant uncle who refuses to retire despite being way past his prime. With 191,000 miles, a cracked windshield, and the promise that motor mounts and spark plugs have never been replaced, it’s basically a time capsule of neglect. On the bright side, it’s a one-owner van with good tires and plenty of room for hauling whatever broken dreams you’ve got lying around.

Buy Rating: An okay deal if you’re looking for a rolling storage unit or something to break down on a budget. Comparable Villagers in similar condition sell for $1,500–$1,900, and this seller is asking $1,800.