GMC Suburban SLE – $2,950

2006 Chrysler Crossfire – $2,850

2003 Dodge Ram Van 1500 – $2,500

1985 Buick LeSabre – $3,500

2009 Pontiac G5 – $3,750

Runs: Yes Utility Value: Mid

1997 Ford Ranger XLT – $2,100

1 Comment

The Cockroach of Trucks: It Just Won’t Die

This 1997 Ford Ranger is the vehicular equivalent of a stray dog—dinged up, rough around the edges, but somehow still kicking. The seller boasts “never run hard,” which is a cute way of saying it’s been babied into mediocrity. With 223,000 miles of abuse, a dented front end, and a power steering system on its last legs, this truck’s biggest flex is that it technically still functions. “Perfect first truck for someone starting out,” meaning perfect for some poor kid who doesn’t know any better.

Buy Rating: If you need a cheap, scrappy hauler and don’t mind a little extra muscle to steer, this might work. Comparable Rangers go for $1,800–$2,300, and this seller is asking $2,100.

Brighton, CO

https://denver.craigslist.org/cto/d/commerce-city-1997-ford-ranger-xlt/7819848292.html

Commuter Runs: Yes Value: Creme-o-crap

1990 Honda Civic “VX” – $3,900

1 Comment

JDM Bro Special: The Spreadsheet Warrior’s Dream

Ah yes, another Civic built with the precision of a Craigslist tutorial and the confidence of a Honda forum mod. This 1990 Civic started life as a 70-hp wheeze-box but has since been Frankensteined with a JDM D15Z VTEC-E from a ‘92 Civic VX, a 5-speed from an ‘88 CRX HF, and enough “upgraded electronics” to make your local Honda fanboy cry. The seller even has a spreadsheet to prove it gets 43+ MPG—because nothing screams performance like fuel economy bragging. The body’s got 220K miles of door dings and questionable decisions, and the instrument cluster swap means you’ll never actually know how far this thing has traveled through hell.

Buy Rating: If your dream is hyper-miling your way into irrelevance, this is your car. Comparable Frankensteined Civics list for $3,000–$3,500, and this seller wants $3,900 for a rolling JDM fanfiction.

Littleton, CO

https://denver.craigslist.org/cto/d/littleton-1990-honda-civic-vx/7825063781.html

Pimp'n Runs: Kind of Value: Dregs

2002 Lexus SC430 Convertible – $2,000 

2 Comments

Luxury Dumpster Fire on Wheels

This 2002 Lexus SC430 is luxury for the delusional. It’s got body damage, a towing requirement, and the audacity to wear gold like it’s still relevant. The only thing working harder than this car’s broken suspension is its seller’s imagination. You’d think a Mark Levinson sound system could drown out the embarrassment, but nope—nothing hides the shame of rolling up in this disaster.

Buy Rating: Run. Fast. Comparable disasters sell for $1,800–$2,300, but this seller wants $2,000 for a towable embarrassment.

Aurora, CO

https://denver.craigslist.org/cto/d/aurora-2002-lexus-sc430-convertible/7824625921.html

Project Runs: Kind of Value: Mid

1983 Mustang convertible – $1,200

2 Comments

Fox Body Convertible or Fox in a Trap?

This 1983 Mustang GLX Convertible, a first-year Fox Body, is hanging onto relevance by a frayed convertible top and faded dreams. It “starts…runs…stops,” but with its last journey back in 2020, you’ll be spending more time wrenching than cruising. The interior’s shot, but hey, Fox Bodies have their cult following—just hope your wallet has the same dedication.

Buy Rating: Good for Mustang die-hards or someone who wants to practice restoration on the cheap. Comparable beat-up Mustangs sell for $1,000–$1,300, and this seller is asking $1,200.

Thornton, CO

https://denver.craigslist.org/cto/d/denver-1983-mustang-convertible/7825414625.html

Commuter Runs: Yes Value: Creme-o-crap

1985 Mercedes 300D Turbodiesel – $3,450

4 Comments

The German Tank That Won’t Quit

This 1985 Mercedes 300D Turbodiesel is a rolling testament to overengineering and stubborn longevity. With 256,554 miles under its belt, “Goldie” isn’t a garage queen, but it still delivers that classic diesel charm, straight-piped into your soul. Fun fact: W123 Mercs are known for being indestructible—this one’s halfway to qualifying for immortal status.

Buy Rating: Solid buy for diesel lovers or anyone who appreciates a tank on wheels. Comparable models go for $3,000–$3,600, and this seller is asking $3,450.

Runs: Kind of Utility Value: Mid

1997 Mercury Villager – $1,500

1 Comment

The Minivan That Time Forgot

This 1997 Mercury Villager is like that distant uncle who refuses to retire despite being way past his prime. With 191,000 miles, a cracked windshield, and the promise that motor mounts and spark plugs have never been replaced, it’s basically a time capsule of neglect. On the bright side, it’s a one-owner van with good tires and plenty of room for hauling whatever broken dreams you’ve got lying around.

Buy Rating: An okay deal if you’re looking for a rolling storage unit or something to break down on a budget. Comparable Villagers in similar condition sell for $1,500–$1,900, and this seller is asking $1,800.

Project Runs: Nah Value: Dregs

2010 PT Cruiser – $700

1 Comment

A PT Cruiser’s Last Cry for Help

This 2010 PT Cruiser comes with a “special edition” label and the kind of luck that would make a black cat cross the street to avoid it. Rear-ended and left to rot, it boasts a brand-new catalytic converter—because nothing says irony like sinking $1,565 into a part before the car decides to give up entirely. Fun fact: PT Cruisers were never meant to be “special,” but this one might be perfect for a DIY mechanic who thrives on suffering.

Buy Rating: Only if you’re desperate for a cheap project or need scrap metal. Comparable PT Cruisers in non-drivable condition sell for $500–$800, and this seller is asking $700.

Commuter Runs: Kind of Value: Dregs

2001 Acura TL – $1,000

2 Comments

Luxury’s Fallen Star with a Leak Problem

This 2001 Acura TL was once a respected mid-range luxury sedan, but at $1,000, it’s more like the haunted shell of better days. Power steering fluid leaks, an incorrect gear ratio code, and “sold as is” tell you everything you need to know about this rolling bundle of compromise. On the bright side, it still drives, and hey, Apple CarPlay is there to distract you from the mechanical chaos under the hood.

Buy Rating: Worth a gamble if you’re feeling brave, have a spare bottle of power steering fluid, and know a mechanic who works for beer. Comparable TLs in similar condition sell for $800–$1,200, and this seller is asking $1,000.